Meredith McKee makes action-sports films. But her new film "Ten Years Out" is about a different kind of bravery. McKee spent the last year with Summers Moore, a local artist whose husband took his own life. The film documents how photography and nature have helped with the healing process.
For Summers Moore, her passions of drawing and photography are not just luxuries, they’re lifelines. "I think art gives you a takeaway; you get to go elsewhere and not have the static that you get in your head. If I were to sit here and dwell on it, and think about it, and not do anything, that’s when the 'thinkies' come and the sadness comes, and so forth. But if I’m doing something, particularly taking a photograph or composing some art, the static’s gone."
Art put her on the path to healing after her husband Matt took his own life over a decade ago. After his death, Moore remembers drawing horses, over and over. "I drew for literally about three weeks these horses and they were no good, but it was not the drawing of the horse. It was the process of moving something on the paper."
Time went by, with art as her only outlet for grief. Then, last year, on Matt’s birthday, one of her daughters called her out. "She goes, 'Mom, you never talk about him.' And I was like...'you’re right, you know. You’ve got me.'"
Moore realized she was afraid to address the loss, that talking about it might be too painful. But if she could again turn it into an art form, perhaps film, that fear might be easier to face. "And then I thought maybe I can explain a little more through this different medium instead of having this direct talk that I wander around in."
She was connected to Meredith McKee, 5 Point’s program director, who knew right away that she wanted to help tell Moore’s story.
To McKee, this story, about an artist overcoming a challenge she never would have chosen for herself, had many of the same themes as a film about skiers bombing down chutes. "The topics of risk, and loss and struggle."
But there were some big differences, too. Producing action films requires perfect choreography. Every detail has to be planned out ahead of time. And Summers Moore isn’t a planner, in her art or her life. As a filmmaker, McKee had to step out of her own comfort zone and simply film in the moment. "It was actually kind of refreshing to just kind of follow her. But that documentary style was hard for me because I’m used to having things so planned."
As the two women grew closer, McKee pushed Moore’s boundaries, too.
Moore had always loved the outdoors, but after her husband's death, she stopped skiing and biking as much. McKee said, "Part of this grieving process is really getting back out there. So we're like, 'All right, Summers, we're going up Red Hill today,' and she's like, 'Are you sure?' And I'm like, 'Yep, we're doing it!'"
But it wasn't just her physical boundaries that McKee asked Moore to explore. She recalled asking her friend to put into words what she felt like after her husband's death. Moore replied, "I just wanted to break something. I wanted to break something wide open.”
McKee wanted to put that feeling into action. And so, in the film’s climax, Moore hurls jar after jar of paint against a canvas. The camera zooms in on explosions of reds, blues and yellows.
It was McKee’s favoriteday of filming. "I could see her actually releasing some of her anger, and she had a huge smile on her face. And she actually has an amazing arm, so she did a great job."
This scene, essentially about making abstract art, is a little different than the desert vistas or Arctic landscapes in a lot of 5 Point films. But McKee said that audiences will be receptive. "People are coming to a festival like 5 Point to kind of be pushed out of their boundaries and I think that this film will push people."
Meagan Lynch, the executive director of 5 Point, agreed. "We don’t look to inspire people to go find their next big base jumping, we look to inspire people to just live a better life and to show up in life as best they can."
Back at Moore’s cabin, the two women mused over the changes they’ve undergone over the past year. McKee said that growth is visible in Moore’s artwork. "When we started the film there was a lot of black-and-white photography. Making this film has been therapeutic and it’s reflected in the art and now these abstracts are reds and blues and yellows and greens and pinks and...they’re gorgeous."
Moore hadn’t even noticed these changes herself, but she said that it’s true. “Now I’m shifting from a monochrome cam into a color cam and doing more intimate portraits of people, whereas before it was a longer lens. It was a fear of looking at people, a fear of failing. And now it’s like, bring it.”
McKee feels this too and she’s remembering not to plan things out too much. "I kind of feel like, whatever project is coming my way, I’m ready for it."
And Moore knows she’ll continue to move forward. "We can all look backwards and say, ooh, wouldn’t that have been great. Can’t do that. On we go. Start now. Go."
Their film "Ten Years Out" premieres at 5 Points this weekend, bookended by films about things like scaling cliff walls, or kayaking down rapids. But Moore and McKee are confident that audiences will see just as much strength in their story.
