8:15am

Sat January 25, 2014
Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Originally published on Mon January 27, 2014 1:07 pm

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Jessi has the lead, Peter, with four points, Brian Babylon has two and Hannibal Burress has one.

SAGAL: All right. Well, Hannibal, the way we work around here is the person in third place goes first. So the clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. Peace talks to end the civil war in blank got off to a contentious start on Wednesday.

HANNIBAL BURRESS: I saw this in the news.

(LAUGHTER)

BURRESS: Syria.

SAGAL: Syria.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Experts believe that the internet outage that affected hundreds of millions of users in blank may have been caused by its censorship system.

BURRESS: China?

SAGAL: Yes, China.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to researchers at Princeton, the social networking site blank could lose 80 percent of its users by 2017.

BURRESS: Facebook.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Major League Baseball this week awarded the First Annual Commissioner Bud Selig Leadership Award to...

BURRESS: Uh, oh, uh, oh...

(LAUGHTER)

BURRESS: Oh man, I saw this. Never mind. Who was it?

SAGAL: They gave the First Annual Commissioner Bud Selig Leadership Award to Commissioner Bud Selig.

BURRESS: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Two Las Vegas casinos announced this week that they would start taking the digital currency blank.

BURRESS: ...bitcoin.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Scientists at NASA are working to determine how a jelly donut-shaped rock mysteriously appeared in photos taken two weeks apart by the blank.

BURRESS: The Mars rover.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an unprecedented museum heist, thieves in Brussels, Belgium made off with blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

BURRESS: Stuff? Oh man.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They made off with the mayor of Brussels' underpants.

BURRESS: Yeah, they did.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Brussels' Underwear Museum is home to the underpants of many notable figures, from the underwear Jon Hamm does not wear to the recently stolen undies from the mayor. The museum is located at a pub, insuring no matter how badly you do flirting at the bar, you'll still see some stranger's underpants at the end of the night.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Hannibal do on our quiz?

KASELL: Hannibal had six correct answers for 12 more points. He now has 13 points and has taken the lead.

SAGAL: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Nicely done, Hannibal. OK, Brian. You're up next. Fill in the blank. President Obama and his family spent the day of service memorializing blank by preparing meals at a local shelter.

BRIAN BABYLON: Martin Luther King.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Two people were arrested at the Texas border this week in connection with the credit card breach at blank stores.

BABYLON: Target.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: As protests grew increasingly violent this week, protestors stormed government offices in blank.

BABYLON: Kiev?

SAGAL: Yea, Ukraine.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Citizens of Wuhan City, China were outraged this week when they thought a resident there was so rich he had installed blanks to flaunt his wealth.

BABYLON: Toilets.

SAGAL: No. They thought he'd installed bacon curtains.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: That is (unintelligible).

SAGAL: It was a restaurant with some drying meat racks. This week billionaire Warren Buffett announced that he would give one billion dollars to anyone who produced a perfect bracket.

BABYLON: Oh, NCAA.

SAGAL: Right, March Madness.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Because of bad weather, the inauguration party scheduled for Tuesday night for New Jersey governor blank was cancelled.

BABYLON: Chris Christie.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in Nigeria is suing the makers of Close Up toothpaste...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...because despite their advertising claims, it has not helped him blank.

BABYLON: Get his teeth white.

SAGAL: No, seduce the ladies.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Close Up's ads claim that the toothpaste fights cavities, freshens breath, and makes you an irresistible sex god. But it wasn't working out for one man in Nigeria even though quote, "I always brush my teeth with so much Close Up gel to make sure the girls get turned on by my fresh breath as they usually show on TV," unquote. So while his suit against Close Up proceeds, he's going to go with Plan B, waiting for the magic Coors Light train to pull into his living room with all the sexy ladies.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: OK, Carl. How did Brian do on our quiz?

KASELL: Brian had five correct answers for ten more points. He now has 12 points.

SAGAL: Well done, Brian. Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. So how many, Carl, does Jessi need to win?

KASELL: Needs four to tie, five to win outright.

SAGAL: OK, Jessi. This is for the game. Fill in t he blank. A federal privacy watchdog group said Thursday that the collection of phone records by the blank is illegal and should end.

JESSI KLEIN: NSA.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week the ACLU filed a lawsuit against the state of Utah for its decision to stop recognizing blanks that it had previously licensed.

KLEIN: Gay marriage.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Stevie Wonder and Beyonce were among the guests at the 50th birthday party held last weekend for blank.

KLEIN: Michelle Obama.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A woman in Brazil is recovering nicely from injuries she sustained when blank happened.

KLEIN: She got a bad Brazilian...

SAGAL: No. She recovered some fairly shocking looking injuries when a porcupine fell off a lamppost and onto her head.

(SOUNDBITE OF SHOCK)

KLEIN: It probably felt about the same as what I said.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Turns out as headline writers said that love couldn't keep the 70's singing duo the blank and blank together because they announced their divorce on Thursday.

KLEIN: Captain and Tennile.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Drawing comparisons to ugly Christmas sweaters, Ralph Lauren's outfits for the US blank team were unveiled this week.

KLEIN: For the US Olympic team.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Wisconsin man did not realize...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...that he had hit a cyclist and continued driving home, despite the fact the cyclist blanked.

KLEIN: That the cyclist was, like, on his windshield.

SAGAL: His cyclist - even better - I'll give it to you - was actually stuck through the windshield so his head was in the car. He was fine. So he turned to the driver and said, hello, I'm the guy on the bicycle you just hit.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And the driver completely ignored him and continued driving home. We presume he thought that the cyclist, in his car, politely trying to get his attention was just another kind of public radio pledge drive, so he ignored it.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

BABYLON: Wow.

SAGAL: Carl, did Jessi Klein do well enough to win?

KASELL: She had six correct answers, Peter, for twelve more points, giving her a total of sixteen points. So she is this week's champion.

SAGAL: Well done, Jessi.

(APPLAUSE)

BURRESS: Good job. Good job, Jessi.

KLEIN: Thank you.

SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists what will be the big surprise out of the State of the Union address on Tuesday. But first, let me tell you all... Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.