Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
4:46 pm
Fri May 23, 2014

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Originally published on Sat May 24, 2014 9:13 am

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it's time to move on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players has 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. each correct answer now worth two points. Bill Kurtis, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Charlie and Kyrie each have three, but Roy is in the lead with four.

SAGAL: All right. Well, we have flipped a coin. Charlie has elected to go second, so Kyrie, you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. Following allegations of misconduct, President Obama promised an investigation into the Department of blank Affairs.

O'CONNOR: Veterans.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the House passed legislation curbing the spying powers of the blank.

O'CONNOR: NSA.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: With a landslide victory, Narendra Modi was appointed the new prime minister of blank.

O'CONNOR: India.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: O. J. Simpson found himself in trouble again after he was caught blanking in prison.

O'CONNOR: Smoking.

SAGAL: Stealing cookies.

O'CONNOR: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Ryan Gosling's directorial debut was widely panned when it premiered at blank this week.

CHARLIE PIERCE: Cannes.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Olympic ice dancer Meryl Davis was crowned the winner of this year's blanking with the blank.

PIERCE: "Dancing with the Stars."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An editor for Associated Press found herself in the news when she accidentally included her blank in a photo caption.

PIERCE: Resume. And who could blame her?

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: She included her resume cover letter in the photo caption. Under a nice, full-color photo, the caption reads, Lauren Sherrick of Iowa helps paint the airport ramp on Sunday. Then the caption goes on, quote, "I am the perfect candidate to be BuzzFeed's photo essay editor."

O'CONNOR: (Laughter).

SAGAL: "I want to do to photojournalism what the listicle has done for lifestyle journalism." It goes on like that for a while.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Kyrie do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She got six right, for 12 points, so she has a total of 15 and the lead. Kyrie, well done.

O'CONNOR: For now.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. That means Charlie, you're up next. Fill in the blank. Following a coup, blank's military has claimed control of the country.

PIERCE: Thailand.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week China signed a deal agreeing to buy $400 billion worth of natural gas from blank.

PIERCE: Russia.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the U.S. military sent eighty troops to Chad to help search for the kidnapped girls from blank.

PIERCE: Nigeria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, former Egyptian president blank was sentenced to three years in prison for embezzlement.

PIERCE: Uh, Mubarak.

SAGAL: Right. Hosni Mubarak.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The FDA has reported that a brand of dog treats imported from China has sickened 5,600 dogs and blank.

PIERCE: The people who feed them.

SAGAL: Well, three people.

PIERCE: OK.

SAGAL: Yes I'll give you that.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Attendees at the Billboard Music Awards were stunned when a holographic version of blank performed.

PIERCE: Michael Jackson.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The ask button is the latest annoying innovation from social media giant blank.

PIERCE: Facebook.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in New York eventually caught...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...and arrested a man who blanked after stealing a bread truck.

(LAUGHTER)

PIERCE: Went back for coffee.

SAGAL: No. He stole the bread truck and continued to make the bread truck's scheduled deliveries.

(LAUGHTER)

PIERCE: (Laughter) What a guy.

(APPLAUSE)

PIERCE: Your honor, I ask for leniency. What a great guy.

SAGAL: I don't know. The man, who was wearing only his underwear...

ROY BLOUNT JR.: Right.

PIERCE: Oh, well, there's the problem, OK.

SAGAL: ...Stole the truck at 6:00 a.m.

PIERCE: How do they - how did they -

SAGAL: Afterwards, he proceeded to drop the bread off to stores throughout the city like a crazed gluten clause.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He was arrested, eventually, while on the way to the airport, where he told officers he was going to hijack a plane and then land it safely at its original destination.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Charlie do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He got seven right, for 14 more points. And 17 gives him the lead.

PIERCE: The only...

SAGAL: All right.

PIERCE: The only reason he got arrested was he was only in his underwear.

SAGAL: Exactly. I don't know. So here's the tough question, then, for you, Bill. How many does Roy Blount need to win?

KURTIS: Let me see - calculating. He needs seven to win.

SAGAL: Good. Very good. OK, Roy, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. Judges in both Pennsylvania and Oregon overturned bans on blank this week.

BLOUNT: Uh, same-sex marriage.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Ahead of the country's presidential elections, the Kremlin announced a withdrawal of troops from blank.

BLOUNT: The Ukraine.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Protesters demanding better wages demonstrated outside of blank's corporate headquarters on Wednesday.

BLOUNT: McDonald's.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police suspected a customer when they found a blank outside an eye clinic in London.

BLOUNT: A pair of glasses.

SAGAL: No, they found a car parked right on top of four motorcycles.

BLOUNT: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT: Well, I see. I see. I see.

SAGAL: Yeah. He didn't.

BLOUNT: I see.

SAGAL: Following reports that it had been hacked, the website blank suggested its users change their passwords immediately.

BLOUNT: Oh, God, I can't never remember all these. Ebay.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: For the third year in a row, the Cleveland Cavaliers won the first pick in the blank draft lottery.

BLOUNT: NBA.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Despite making $15 million a year playing for Manchester City, soccer star Yaya Toure threatened to leave the team because they blanked.

BLOUNT: Because they would refuse to pronounce his name correctly.

SAGAL: No.

BLOUNT: It's not - in fact, you've got it wrong, too. It's not yah-yah. It's yeah-yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Is it?

BLOUNT: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No-no. Yaya Toure threatened to quit Manchester City's team because they forgot to wish him a happy birthday.

BLOUNT: Oh.

SAGAL: Toure claims that the team forgot his special day entirely, forcing him to dive to the ground and writhe in pain until the referee showed him a birthday card.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Roy do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Not quite. He needed seven. He got five. So our winner is Charlie.

SAGAL: Charlie Pierce.

KURTIS: 17.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, now that the director of the FBI has opened the door to marijuana use among agents, our panelists will predict the next organization to loosen its standards. But first, let me tell you that support for NPR comes from NPR stations and Angie's List, connecting consumers with user-reviewed contractors, an online marketplace, and concierge support for home improvement services. Angieslist.com. The Melville Charitable Trust, supporting solutions to prevent and end homelessness, on the web at melvilletrust.org. And Esurance, insurance for the modern world, with online tools that provide customers with 24/7 advice and support. Learn more at esurance.com. WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.