Lightning Fill In The Blank

Jun 20, 2014
Originally published on June 21, 2014 9:32 am

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you please give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: P.J. has one, Maz three, Kyrie four.

SAGAL: Oh, my goodness.

MAZ JOBRANI: Wow.

O'ROURKE: OK.

SAGAL: Because you're in third place, P.J., you are up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Please fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the U.S. announced that commandos had caught the suspected ringleader of the attacks on the embassy in blank.

O'ROURKE: Benghazi.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Claiming it was owed over $200 billion in past-due payments, Russia cut off its supply of blank to Ukraine.

O'ROURKE: Gas.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: During the World Cup match against Italy, England's physical therapist had to be removed from the field because he blanked.

O'ROURKE: Punched somebody.

SAGAL: No. He celebrated a goal so hard he dislocated his ankle.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, pop stars Marc Blank-thony and Blank-ifer Lopez finally finalized their divorce.

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: That'd be Jennifer. I haven't got the slightest idea who the guy is.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You don't know who Marc Blank-thony is?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's Marc Anthony. Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez. An Irish teenager at a rave liked the music so much that he kept partying even after he lost his blank on the dance floor.

O'ROURKE: Even after he lost - what do the Irish have?

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: There's beer.

SAGAL: There's beer. No. He kept dancing after he lost his pinky.

JOBRANI: What?

SAGAL: After realizing he lost his finger in a freak accident, the teenager told his friends, quote, "I've only been here for an hour. Am I seriously going to go? No. I'm going to skank until I can't skank anymore." Proving that he did in fact have more brains in his little finger than the rest of his body combined.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did P.J. do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, P.J. got two right for four more points.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: You now have five points. And you've got the lead.

O'ROURKE: Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

O'ROURKE: As our German soccer coach would tell us...

JOBRANI: You're going to lose.

O'ROURKE: I'm going to lose. Yeah.

SAGAL: All right, Maz. You're up next. Fill in the blank. Following increasing controversy over the team's name, a U.S. patent office has rescinded blank's trademark.

JOBRANI: The Redskins.

SAGAL: Yes the Washington Redskins.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Following his father's abdication, this week, Felipe VI was crowned the King of blank.

JOBRANI: Spain.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, California Representative Kevin McCarthy was chosen to replace blank as House majority leader.

JOBRANI: Cantor.

SAGAL: Eric Cantor. Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Harley Davidson announced this week that it will be unveiling its first electric blank.

JOBRANI: Motorcycle.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Firefighters in Eerie, Pennsylvania rescued a woman from a tree after she climbed up the tree to blank.

JOBRANI: To take a nap.

SAGAL: No, to rescue her cat obviously. The San Antonio Spurs were named NBA champions on Sunday denying the blank their third straight title win.

JOBRANI: Miami Heat.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, radio icon blank passed away at the age of 82.

JOBRANI: Casey Kasem.

SAGAL: Right

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in Rio de Janeiro had to be rushed to the hospital after he slapped a blank.

JOBRANI: After he slapped a shark.

SAGAL: After he slapped a porcupine.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: That's like - that's a shark on land.

SAGAL: No. It's a porcupine.

JOBRANI: Come on, man.

SAGAL: He was hosting a birthday party at his home when his son told him to guests were afraid to enter because an animal was sitting in front of the door. So the man did what any of us would do in that situation, and he challenged the interloper to a slap fight.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The man said he did not think it was a porcupine, just a possum who used way too much hair gel.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: And yet, he didn't lose a pinky.

SAGAL: No, just four new quills in his hand. Bill, how did Maz do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Maz got six right for 12 more points.

(APPLAUSE)

O'ROURKE: Wow.

SAGAL: Well done.

KURTIS: That means he has 15 points and the lead.

SAGAL: Very well done. All right. The leads been switching. How many does Kyrie need to win it?

KURTIS: She needs six to win.

SAGAL: All right. Kyrie, here we go. This is for the game.

O'CONNOR: OK.

SAGAL: This week, Amazon hoped to take a bite out of Apple by introducing a new blank.

O'CONNOR: Phone.

SAGAL: Right, smartphone.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Title defenders Spain were shocked on Wednesday when a loss to Chile led to their early elimination from the blank.

O'CONNOR: World Cup.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Politicians in Virginia have approved the demolition of the parking garage where blank shared secrets about Watergate.

O'CONNOR: Deep Throat.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A New York high school principal is suspected of plagiarizing his graduations speech after he blanked.

O'CONNOR: Plagiarized his graduation speech.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, they think he might have plagiarizes the speech because he congratulated the wrong high school.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: After Harrison Ford broke his leg during filming, the shooting schedule of the new blank movie was forced to change.

O'CONNOR: "Star Wars."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Despite the fact that it's first season won't air until 2015, AMC has already renewed "Better Call Saul," the sequel to the hit series blank.

O'CONNOR: "Breaking Bad."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police were able to quickly capture a man who robbed a woman in Washington because he left his blank at the crime scene.

O'CONNOR: His address book.

SAGAL: His South Tacoma Mazda salesperson of the month award.

O'CONNOR: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to Tacoma police, the woman woke up to find her house a mess, her purse missing, but also found the sales person of the month award lying in her yard.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Kyrie do well enough to win?

KURTIS: She needed six, but she got only five.

SAGAL: Oh.

KURTIS: So with 15, Maz is the winner.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. Congratulations, Maz.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask for our panelists to predict if the Washington Redskins do get a new name, what that new name will be. But first, let me tell you that support for NPR comes of NPR stations. And Lumber Liquidators - hardwood, bamboo and cork flooring with the Floor Finder app for iPad and iPhone. Learn more at lumberliquidators.com. The John S. and James L. Knight Foundation, helping NPR advance journalistic excellence in the digital age. And Carnegie Corporation, supporting the New Americans campaign and all their partners promoting citizenship. More at greatimmigrants.carnegie.org. WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut productions. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.