Lightning Fill In The Blank

Aug 24, 2013
Originally published on August 26, 2013 8:51 am

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players now has 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Adam Felber has the lead, Peter. He has four points, Kyrie O'Connor has three; Paula Poundstone, two.

SAGAL: All right. Well, Paula, you are sadly in third place so you will start.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Boy, we haven't heard those words ever before.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, yeah.

SAGAL: On Wednesday, Bradley Manning was sentenced to 35 years in prison for giving confidential files to blank.

POUNDSTONE: WikiLeaks.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The UN launched an investigation over reports that the Syrian government had used blanks against civilians.

POUNDSTONE: Chemical weapons.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Late Tuesday, Mark Zuckerberg announced his new plan to provide blank access to everyone.

POUNDSTONE: Internet.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Immediately after the minutes from the Federal Reserve's meeting were released on Wednesday, blanks plunged.

POUNDSTONE: Stocks.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: New laws being implemented in Shenzhen, China will make it a crime to blank.

POUNDSTONE: Use plastic Chinese sticks.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, pee on the seat.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, to pee on the seat.

SAGAL: Yeah, like the toilet seat. The Catholic News agency Zenit reported this week that blank had said that he'd retired because God told him to.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, the pope that retired.

SAGAL: Pope Benedict.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: After his car burst into flames on the California freeway this week, blank was rescued without injury.

POUNDSTONE: Dick Van Dyke.

SAGAL: Yeah, we're so happy for him.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Chinese zoo was caught using a fake lion when the lion began blanking.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

POUNDSTONE: Barking.

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Turns out the man-eating beast was really just a long haired dog with his hair teased out into a giant mane. Zookeepers eventually admitted to this and further inspection revealed a white fox was posing as a leopard, and two rodents in a cage were labeled snake.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Yet another zoo scam.

SAGAL: Carl, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KASELL: Seven correct answers.

SAGAL: Really impressive.

(APPLAUSE)

KASELL: That's 14 more points, so now Paula has the lead with 16 points.

SAGAL: Yeah, I wouldn't - you did that like you had some caffeine spray. You did well.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I have, you know, as you can tell by looking at me, Peter, I mix my caffeine spray with my tanning spray.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. Kyrie, you're up next. Fill in the blank. After he was cleared in his retrial on corruption charges, former Egyptian president blank was released from jail on Thursday.

KYRIE O'CONNOR: Mubarak.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Officials at Fukushima's nuclear plant in Japan raised threat levels after a storage tank began blanking.

O'CONNOR: Leaking.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Because of the sequester, federal funding for the preschool program blank was cut across the country this week.

O'CONNOR: Head Start.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, President Obama unveiled a new ranking system for blanks that would increase affordability.

O'CONNOR: Colleges.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After 9-1-1 was flooded with calls, police in Connecticut issued a reminder to residents that blank doesn't qualify as an emergency.

O'CONNOR: Running out of red wine.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The cable going out during "Breaking Bad."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Sixteen years after her death, British police have reopened the investigation into the car crash that killed blank.

O'CONNOR: Diana.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Tennis star Maria Sharapova decided this week not to change her last name to blank to promote her new candy.

O'CONNOR: Sugarpova.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Two robbers in Chicago were arrested after they returned to the restaurant they were trying to rob because blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

O'CONNOR: They left their wallet there.

SAGAL: No. Because the owner said it wasn't a good time to be robbed and asked them to come back later.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: I don't know who I'm more proud of, as a Chicagoan, the resourceful restaurant owner or the polite thieves. The Clifton Grill was super busy when two men showed up without a reservation and tried to rob it. The owner said, hey this is not a good time, it's really busy. Could you come back in about an hour? So the two most obliging robbers ever, they did that.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Then they waited patiently while the owner went into the back to get his checkbook. Yes, they had also agreed to take a check...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...and were surprised when he came back with the police instead. Carl, how did Kyrie do on our quiz?

KASELL: Six correct answers for 12 more points. She now has 15 points, but Paula still has the lead with 16.

SAGAL: Alrighty then.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: How many then does Adam need to win?

KASELL: Six to tie, seven to win outright.

SAGAL: All right. Here we go, Adam. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. The Council of Europe has asked the U.K. to explain why a journalist's partner was detained and computers were destroyed at the blank newspaper.

ADAM FELBER: Guardian.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: To prove the existence of a bug that would allow people to post on anyone's Facebook timeline, a Palestinian man posted his findings on blank.

FELBER: His Facebook timeline - oh, on Zuckerberg's timeline.

SAGAL: On Zuckerberg's timeline, exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Mark Zuckerberg. Because of a technical problem, blank stopped all trading after noon on Thursday.

FELBER: NASDAQ.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week New Jersey Governor Chris Christie signed a bill banning conversion therapy for blank teens.

FELBER: Gay.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in New Hampshire were able to catch a shoplifter loaded down with electronics because he had blanked.

FELBER: Electrocuted himself.

SAGAL: Locked his keys in his car.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: OK.

SAGAL: Apple news site iMore reported that the next iPhone will be available in the color blank.

FELBER: Gold.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A grandmother at a wedding in Britain got mixed up while attempting to throw confetti at the bride and accidentally blanked.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

FELBER: Threw a rock at her.

SAGAL: No, threw her drink on her instead.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's an easy mistake to make. You have your cocktail in one hand and your confetti in the other, and the next thing you know the bride has a face full of Pimm's.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The bride laughed it off saying it helped make the wedding more memorable, and besides, her grandmother never could hold her liquor.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Ah, yes.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Carl, did Adam do well enough to win, because he did pretty well.

KASELL: He needed six correct answers to tie, but he had five correct answers. So at 16 points, Paula Poundstone is this week's champion.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Paula Poundstone comes from third to win. That's exciting. How do you feel, Paula?

POUNDSTONE: Well, good, but I got to say, I don't think I could've answered any of Adam's questions.

SAGAL: But, Paula, you knew there was a pope, or there had been one that is.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's good.

POUNDSTONE: That's like that famous expression, does Paula know there's a pope?

(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.