Lightning Fill In The Blank

Oct 25, 2013

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Time for our final game Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Carl, what are the scores?

CARL KASELL: Mo Rocca has the lead. He has four points. Peter Grosz and Roxanne Roberts are tied. Both have two points.

SAGAL: All right. We have flipped a coin and Roxanne has elected to go first. Here is your first question. On Monday, Chris Christie withdrew his challenge as blank became legal in New Jersey.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Same-sex marriage.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A National Security director at the White House was fired Wednesday for mocking the administration and leaking information in an anonymous account on blank.

ROBERTS: Twitter.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In his new book, former vice president Dick Cheney reveals that he was so worried about hackers assassinating him, that he had the wireless feature in his blank turned off.

ROBERTS: Pace maker.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an agreement with the Justice Department, banking giant blank agreed to pay a 13 billion dollar settlement.

ROBERTS: JP Morgan.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in Connecticut arrested a man after he blanked during a chase.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Was this the one where he gave them the finger during the chase?

SAGAL: No. This is the one where he threw a parrot at them.

(LAUGHTER)

MO ROCCA: That's right.

ROBERTS: That's right.

SAGAL: After the actor playing the lead dropped out, actor Jamie Dornan was cast as the lead in the movie version of the bestseller blank.

ROBERTS: "Fifty Shades of Gray."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a launch event on Tuesday, blank unveiled the latest version of the ipad.

ROBERTS: IPad Air Apple.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in Sweden called the police after he woke up to a blank.

PETER GROSZ: A parrot being thrown at him.

ROBERTS: No, I think it was a clown.

SAGAL: No. It was a strange woman slapping him in the face with a fish.

ROBERTS: Oh, with a fish, the mackerel.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: No bell. No bell for that one.

ROBERTS: Wait.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Roxanne, hold on.

ROBERTS: I knew it was a mackerel.

SAGAL: Was it you?

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: You know, I've been having these blackouts.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So the man was sound asleep in his apartment when the woman entered, took this mackerel out of his refrigerator, walked over to his bed and then fishslapped him with it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Police have classified the fishslapping as an assault, and both the man and the mackerel intend to press charges. Carl, how did Roxanne do on our quiz?

KASELL: Six correct answers, 12 more points, she now has 14 points and Roxanne has the lead.

SAGAL: All right then.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Peter.

GROSZ: Yes.

SAGAL: Peter, my friend, you are up next, fill in the blank. In its filing on Thursday, blank set a stock price of 17 to $20 per share of its IPO.

GROSZ: Oh boy. The stock market company.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, Twitter.

GROSZ: Twitter.

SAGAL: Amnesty International urged the U-S to investigate claims that civilians had been killed in U-S blank strikes.

GROSZ: Drone.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Schools and regional airports shut down this week in northern China because of thick blank enveloping the region.

GROSZ: Smog?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week the FDA warned pet owners about mysterious illnesses and deaths linked to blanks from China.

GROSZ: Treats - dog treats.

SAGAL: Yeah, jerky treats.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Fox News accused President Obama of wanting to make the US Marines blank.

GROSZ: Um...

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: ...gay.

SAGAL: He accused President Obama of wanting to make the U.S. Marines quote "wear girly hats."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: After the government shutdown ended, visitors online immediately maxed out limits on the National Zoo's blank cam.

ROCCA: Oh, come on.

GROSZ: The national zoo's blank cam, monkey cam, I don't know.

ROCCA: Bamboo, bamboo, bamboo.

SAGAL: No, the panda cam. The panda cam.

GROSZ: The famous panda cam at the National Zoo that everyone knows about?

SAGAL: Yeah.

ROBERTS: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Because we've all been to the National Zoo?

ROBERTS: It's adorable.

SAGAL: It's adorable.

GROSZ: I live in New York City.

SAGAL: The clock is ticking.

GROSZ: Yes, right.

SAGAL: A man peeing outdoors in Portland Oregon caused the city to blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

GROSZ: Panda cam.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Caused the city to shut down an 8 million gallon reservoir. Sure, it seems like a drop in an 8 million gallon bucket, but still, ew. The man admitted urinating into the water. He said he only did it because he thought the reservoir was a sewage plant.

ROCCA: This is Portland, right?

SAGAL: Yeah.

ROCCA: So it was organic.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Peter do on our quiz?

GROSZ: Terribly.

KASELL: Three correct answers, six more points and now has eight points. But Roxanne still has the lead with fourteen.

ROCCA: Oh, I've got to win this.

SAGAL: Yes, you do.

(APPLAUSE)

ROCCA: And it won't happen.

ROBERTS: Oh, you'll do fine, fine, fine.

SAGAL: So how many then does Mo need to win?

KASELL: Mo needs five to tie, six to win outright.

SAGAL: OK, Mo. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. According to an NBC-Wall Street Journal poll, 60 percent of those asked would vote to replace every member of blank.

ROCCA: Congress.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the St. Louis Cardinals and Boston Red Sox faced off in the first game of the blank.

ROCCA: World Series.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Negotiations resumed this week after a four day transit strike in blank.

ROCCA: San Francisco.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in Pennsylvania called police when he discovered blank.

GROSZ: Panda cam.

ROCCA: Gravity.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: When he discovered that someone had stolen his jello from the office fridge.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: NBC announced Thursday that they would be airing an updated version of the TV show blank with Octavia Spencer in the old Angela Lansbury role.

ROCCA: Oh, Murder She Wrote?

SAGAL: Murder She Wrote.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A study released this week shows that blanks are as addictive as cocaine.

ROCCA: SmartPhones.

SAGAL: Oreos.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The Palo Alto Fire department was criticized this week after it sent an emergency alert warning residents blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

ROCCA: A fire - the fire - what happened?

SAGAL: They used their emergency alert system and they used it to alert the residents of Palo Alto that what?

ROCCA: Oh, that people from Oakland were coming.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Man the gates. Repel the borders.

GROSZ: The Raiders are coming.

SAGAL: No. They used their emergency alert system to tell the people of Palo Alto not to forget about the Palo Alto fire fighter pancake breakfast.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's something you don't want to see, an emergency text message starting with the terrifying words Pancake Breakfast. Officials say they sent the alert to warn residents about the life flight helicopter that would be at the event, which was necessary because those pancakes were dangerously delicious.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Mo do well enough to win?

KASELL: Mo had six correct answers for 12 more points. So with 16 points Mo Rocca is this week's champion.

ROCCA: Oh, my goodness.

SAGAL: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

ROCCA: I don't even know what to say. I just...

SAGAL: In just a minute we'll ask our panelists once his presidency is over, what we will see Obama pitching on TV, now that he started that career.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But first let me tell you that... Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.